MadMacs

This was from the July 2001 cover article, "Extreme Upgrades", which in reality wasn't much: most just got minor upgrades and a new coat of paint. The only exception to this was a Macintosh LC which was gutted and replaced with a beige G3 logicboard.

I put this up because the 9600 was one of the coolest computers Apple ever made (pre-Steve Jobs era) but they could've done better. The paint job is hideous: they didn't even bother using masking to show the rainbow Apple logo, and they didn't bother adding a new mouse (they got USB in it, however). The idea was "salvaging" but they took out the floppy drive without replacement (kind of pointless, really), and wasted the PCI slots. The 9600 came with six PCI slots (no other Mac came close to that since) but rather than replace it with cool stuff, they spent it on, well, junk. While useful (FireWire and USB) things were added, some were novelty (TV card), and some were junk (four extra serial ports! Who cares?)

They mentioned that FireWire drives would be faster than the internal SCSI drives, but I think (and correct me if I'm wrong) there was a PCI card for IDE hard drives. And since 2001 was the post-PC card era (a dry time in which the only alternative was software emulation), they could've popped an OrangePC card in to allow even more capabilities for the Mac. Of course it can't play "the newest games" (for 2001, that is) but there were still hundreds of games generally off-limits to Mac users until DOSBox and the Intel revolution came around.

You'll also notice that they tried to install Mac OS X. While an unofficial hack was created by 2002 to allow installation, keep in mind this is Mac OS X 10.0 they are talking about, and at that point, Mac OS X was a slow, bloated piece of junk.

Note: You'll notice that the theme is "built on salvage" for this one: that's why they had the underpowered 3D card, etc. But another Mac in the article featured a $10,000 panoramic monitor, not to mention the expensive hard drives (45GB in FireWire drives weren't cheap in 2001) and extra RAM. So they could've added nicer things to the 9600.

May 2001 MacAddict

This one was the last remaining from comp/mag, originally posted November 20, 2011.

This issue (love the cover, it's bright and nice) is Volume 6, Issue 5, and #52. Cover price still $7.99.



Highlights:

- The DSL/Cable Wars ended with DSL as the winner, not taking into account other providers at the time (they only used their local services, apparently)
- Yes, this was the era of the dreadful iMac colors: "Flower Power" and "Blue Dalmatian". We don't know what the engineers were using at this time, but I'd guess it was something illegal and woefully bad for you.
- A $10,000 plasma TV? You can get plasma TVs for about 1/20 of the price now, same size (42")
- A close-up of the Motorola G3 processor. Looking back, it's strange to think that Google owns a good chunk of the former Motorola now (not Motorola Solutions, though).
- "Give it up. While it would be nice to make the next Quake-killer in Flash, it just isn't going to happen." At least, not for another 10 years...and such a game on Flash would probably destroy all but the most powerful of computers.
- The 250MB USB Zip Drive is reviewed. It's noisy and slow to write on traditional 100MB Zip Disks. Within a few years, Zip disks would be obsolete (my words, not theirs)
- How to land an airplane in a flight simulator (a rare one: they don't do game help normally)

All in all, a pretty mediocre issue (104 pages) but I still like the cover.

Dorks and Dinosaurs

OK, I'm splicing together a few things, these were both from PC World. The first one was from comp/mag, which is being disassembled.



This odd ad from PC World (March 1999) features how YOU can get lots of money from repairing PCs in your own home! You even get a powerful IBM computer to do it with. Of course, all this is if you sign up to the "International Correspondence Schools", meaning that to get this spread like McDork here has received, you need to pay thousands of dollars, and to get the FULL set, you probably need to finish the course. Advice: just buy an iMac, which was popular at the time of this ad.

Fast forward a few years and we get a glimpse of an odd advertising campaign circa 2005 for Microsoft Office. Odd because there wasn't a new Office between '03 and '07, unless they upgraded '03, which wouldn't be bad because '07 was complete garbage, and odd because there are people wearing rubber dinosaur masks.




And to be honest, if you were a business using Windows XP, even in 2005, you are still a dinosaur in many aspects.

Nester's Adventures #29

At one time, Nintendo Power ran a monthly comic called "Howard and Nester", co-starring Howard Philips of Nintendo of America. The storylines gave hints for whatever the big game of the time was (typically the comic's theme was last month's cover game) with some mild joke or pun on par with comic strips of today. After Howard left for a job at JVC (in real life), the comic strip was renamed "Nester's Adventures", but the quality of the artwork started to slip (in my opinion) and without Howard, instead relying on random bit players (whether kids or video game players). This eventually proved the beginning of the end, and it was ended in the end of 1993. Nester has made a few comic appearances since (including 1997 and 2008) but not much since then.

This is a 2-page Nester's Adventures strip from Issue 29, and you can see that it's even less funny than H&N (though I have to admit, the Madonna line made me chuckle) and not much game hints either.

These aren't my scans and were taken from Retromags, but I do have the magazines.

Nintendo Power Volume 109 (June/98)

This is the June 1998 issue with Banjo-Kazooie featured on it. Cover price $4.95 in the United States, this issue has a few things going for it, including...

- Some tips on Banjo-Kazooie, specifically finding trinkets like Jiggy Pieces, Jinjos, and Extra Honeycomb Pieces.
- A comparison of Mortal Kombat 4 for Nintendo 64 and its arcade counterpart. Of course, this being Nintendo Power, you know which one wins (even if controls and graphics take a nosedive)
- BioFreaks review: which has some ludicrous presence that some mutant-cyborgs can bring the United States back together again. Or something like that.
- An E3 report!! The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time makes its final showing (the Zelda 64 title is still used). Twelve Tales: Conker 64 (a new name for Conker's Quest) makes its second showing, and would go on for two more until the game was cancelled and transformed into Conker's Bad Fur Day, Space Station: Silicon Valley, the ultimately disappointing Quest 64, the lamented EarthBound 64, which was eventually cancelled and released as a pared-down 2D Game Boy Advance adventure, and a few others. Another cancelled game that was less high-profile was Survivor: Day One, a game by Konami. It was cancelled.



Less depressing than the cancelled games and the disappointing games (including Earthworm Jim 3D and the infamous Superman) was the announcement of Pokémon and the Game Boy Color. While becoming a big success, it only helped reinforced the idea that the N64 and Nintendo was the "kiddie" console.

The contests, which Nintendo Power had up until their sale to Future, usually had a t-shirt (third prize), the "featured game and maybe something extra", and "featured game+something awesome". Often times, it was only tangibly related: a Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong Quest featured a trip to Six Flags Magic Mountain, or a truckload of coins (for Blast Corps, I think). This one featured a trip to the Seattle area to see Kobe Bryant play against the Seattle Sonics (with two courtside tickets). And of course, this being Seattle (as they were the home team but rival to Kobe Bryant), you got to check out Nintendo of America headquarters. You also got Kobe Bryant in NBA Courtside for N64, as the 5 runner-ups got (except, instead of Seattle, they get an autographed basketball).

There was also Game Boy Camera "strategies" and a review (it scored 8.3 overall). The strategies were tips, including taking pictures of drawings, and splicing together a film. The example showed 8 panels of a clown being incinerated by a spaceship.

And, if you were a good enough artist, you could win things like a DVD player or digital camera, which, being in 1998, was pretty expensive. Heck, I have a 2001 camera, and I don't know how much it originally cost, but it still produces tolerable shots.

Nintendo Strategies

Here's something I got from my cousins: an old unofficial Nintendo strategy guide. Not covered by |tsr's nes archive, this little guide has about 30 games covered, with two pages each (lots of wasted space, however, mind you).

Having not really seen any NES strategy guides of that era, this guide basically gives you a few tips on certain Nintendo games. Sadly, the tips are not that great: for Super Mario Bros., it only gives a few tips on what has become legend: infinite one-ups, and the locations to the Warp Zones. And for Skate or Die, it basically sums up that all you need is practice (many of these games were about timing). Having not played many of these games, there are no major inaccuracies I could tell, except for two: you can go up to 128 lives for Mario (not 100) before dying, and they refer to Birdo (Super Mario Bros. 2) as "the dragon". Okay.

The cover is weird (as always from that era). You can see a rather impish-looking Link, some vegetables from Mario 2, and what looks like Big Bird in a flying car (seriously, can't figure that one out).

This was published in 1989 and was backed by Consumer Guide, oddly enough (though the name isn't on the cover).

MacAddict December 1998

This is the MacAddict issue for December 1998. There are supposed to be a number of "cracks" (or so the April '99 issue says) in this magazine (no idea what that means. jokes? errors? piracy?)

Some stats for this issue: it's Volume 3 Issue 12 (28), cover price $7.99. 128 pages.
As soon as you open the magazine, there's a funny two-page ad for Yoot Tower, the sequel to SimTower in which there's a skyscraper, with large windows, all of which are dark and empty, except for one, in which someone is mooning those who watch on the outside. The text reads "our deepest apologies to pc users, but Yoot™ Tower is coming out on mac first. get your copy at yootmacfirst.com."

Some highlights of this issue include:

- Pictures and info of a custom Mac, a 7600 logicboard inside of a 1940s Zenith radio. It's unique in that it doesn't have a floppy drive (and this was submitted before the iMac was announced).
- A large (8 page pullout) ad for Mac OS 8.5
- The fate of the Claris applications: Claris FileMaker (as well as Claris itself) became FileMaker, still made today, ClarisWorks became AppleWorks and lived for many more years, Claris Organizer was bought by Palm and renamed Palm Organizer, and Claris Emailer and Claris Home Page were abandoned (sorry).
- "30 Days to the Perfect Mac": the flagship article. Basically, it tells you to get rid of extensions, documents, and extra copies of software you don't need, optimize performance, and make backups.
- The Holiday Games Spectacular 3, with the "Hype-Meter". Tomb Raider II and Myth II: Soulblighter topped the list at 11. Redneck Rampage came in last at 2, with Nightfall and Yoot Tower coming in at 4.
- An article on Mac OS 8.5.
- Another copy of the PCfx! advertisement.
- Starcraft review.
- Building a shoot-'em-up game in Flash 3 (gee, Flash games sure have gone a long way)
- An article that accidentally runs its text into an advertisement (whoops)